The San Diego Comic-Con is just over four months away. Mattel will once again be a major exhibitor and offer a great Cars Exclusive! Thousands will attend. Many will be angry Cars fans who will want to kick Matty upside his big head. Why? Because at last year's Comic-Con, Mattel unveiled MattyCollector.com and claimed, "Here you will find the latest release information, sneak peek pics, official news, product archives (aka a glimpse at my personal Mattel toy collection) and of course MATTY’S STORE where you can buy exclusive products unavailable anywhere else." I was told MattyCollector was going to release one Cars exclusive about every other month. Eight months have passed, and not one single Cars exclusive has been released.
I advise Matty to watch his back if he shows up at Comic-Con. It may even be wise for him to have the Toy Guru and the Gleek by his side as his bodyguards. Matty has simply not produced for Cars collectors. He hasn't kept his promises like a slimey politician who'll say anything to get elected! He's lost credibility and shouldn't get a bonus from Mattel, he should get that smirk off his big goofy face, and he should run like hell when the angry mob spots him!
I can see him facing the angry townsfolk of Alternator Valley as they chase him down with pitchforks and torches like poor old Frankenstein! They'll pursue him through the aisles of Comic-Con. As they chase him past Hasbro's booth, they'll pillage all their displays and shanghai their followers. They'll stop by Disney's booth and borrow Captain Jack's crew for reinforcements. They'll kick over the refreshment stand because the food is overpriced and tastes like crap.
Finally, they'll chase Matty to the top of the convention center like the Frankenstein Monster! Attendees won't know if he's just a weirdo dressed up to enter the "Costume Ball," or it is a publicity stunt to promote the convention! Hopefully, they won't torch the place like the townsfolk did to the windmill that poor ole Frankie met his fate in! We may be angry as hell, but we're really a fun-loving group with hearts as big as Matty's oversized head!
We can dream, can't we? We can't really run around Comic-con and beat up on a stupid corporate cartoon guy! But hell, who says you can't run around with torches and pitchforks and pillage Hasbro's booth!!Be part of the mob and Subscribe to Alternator Valley!
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3 comments:
Actually, the convention hall is too crowded. You'd need to chase Matty up to the 'sails' area on top of the convention center, or maybe a ways south to that strange art statue by the parking garage across from Petco Park.
The more I look at Matty, the more I want to do a parody of him using the head of Rod Blagojevich. They both wear smirks and have that strange overhang of hair. Give Rod a little gold crown and...well, you know the rest.
That would be funny to see! If you do it, send it to me to post.
Matty's in a coma, just like Jack. Same size head....
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